10 Tips to be a successful Husband

1. Dress up well for one’s wife:

Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men looked good to please our wives. Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasullullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use likeable names for your wife:

Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Recognize the good & focus on that:

Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day which brings no attention from the husband until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. Be silent on the wrongs:

If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasullullah(sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (Radi Allahu ‘anhunna). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife:

Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasullullah(sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salaah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her:

Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

7. Make her happy:

Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your Life.

8. Comfort her:

Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasullullah(sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (Radi Allahu ‘anha) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous:

Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how Rasulullah (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) would race his wife Aisha (Radi Allahu ‘anha) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Try to be the Best:

Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam): “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah (Azza wa jall) to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta’ala knows best !!

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A Dad’s speech at his Daughters Nikaah

I thought I would start my speech by addressing you as the “new” family of my daughter. But I think it would be inappropriate because now that she is married, you are “the family” for her. Believe me; I don’t have a problem with that. I, in fact, want my daughter to have “you” as her priority now. Its time for us to take a backseat in her life. We would happily accept it but would surely request one thing- please keep her happy!

I am more than sure that you will keep her very happy. She will perhaps be happier than what she used to be here. But like all fathers, I obsess over my daughter’s happiness which is making me say this over and over again- please keep her happy! She never was and will never be a burden for me. She is in fact the reason why I breathe and smile. I am getting her married because this is what the law of nature demands. I am helpless in the face of our culture and therefore sending her to your home. She was the happiness of my home and will now light up your home. I am giving my world to you. Please make sure it remains beautiful. I am giving away my princess to you. Please make sure she stays as a queen. I have raised her with my sweat and blood and now she is wonderfully perfect. For all the care, love, beauty and warmth my daughter will bring into your lives, I just want her happiness in return—please keep her happy!

If at times you think that my daughter has said or done something wrong, feel free to scold her. But handle her with love. She is very fragile. If at times she feels low, be with her. She just needs a little bit of your attention. If at times she feels sick, show her some care. It’s the medicine that works best for her. If at times she fails to fulfill a responsibility, feel free to chastise her. But empathize with her. She is still learning. Do understand her—please keep her happy!

I don’t mind if I don’t get to see her for months. I don’t mind if I am not able to talk to her on a daily basis. I would be more than happy if she doesn’t remember me much. But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you, please keep her happy. Dear son-in-law, these words may not mean much to you now but if you are lucky enough to father a daughter someday, you will appreciate them better when you will find every beat of your heart shouting – “please keep her happy”! —

Dedicated to all fathers

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